


The Great Mystery Gift Caper

by VengefulDivine



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Christmas, Fun, Gen, Satinalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:19:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2849027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VengefulDivine/pseuds/VengefulDivine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Satinalia in Thedas and someone has gone around leaving gifts for the various Inquisition members. But who could it be?!<br/>The great Investigator Dorian is determined to find out, and picks up some help along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Mystery Gift Caper

The sun rose on the first day of Umbralis, and the cold was positively bone-chilling. Dorian was reminded yet again that his least favorite part of being in the south was that however cold he thought he was, it could always be colder. This went double for Skyhold because _of course_ their main fortress had to be in the mountains.

Rubbing his arms and dragging his blanket off the bed with him, Dorian looked out the window. There was a light dusting of fresh snow that sparkled in the morning sun. The sky was still a tapestry of purple and pink hues that reflected off the icy surfaces below. Freezing or no, he did have to admit that it was a beautiful day.

Performing his morning rituals took time, but he had them down to a science. How else could one manage to look that good all day? By the time he finished, he was at least a little less bothered by the cold and ready to start whatever the Inquisitor had them up to today. Dorian chuckled. He rarely called Faydren that to her face anymore, but it always amused him to use the title when she made requests or outlined missions.

As he moved to exit, his eye was caught by something that didn't belong. Sitting on a small table near the door was a rather lumpy brown package. When did it get there? And how had he not noticed it before? Walking over, he picked it up and gave it a little shake. It was heavier than he expected and a little bit squishy. Shrugging, he removed the wrapping.

Inside was a gorgeous leather-bound book, clearly old but in excellent condition. Dorian gasped as he read the title. He'd been trying to find a copy of this book for years! And to find one so well-preserved was unheard of.

Carefully wrapped around the book was a warm scarf in his favorite color. He wrapped it around his neck and face immediately, relishing the soft toastiness. Who put this gift here? Who knew enough about him to choose such a perfect one? He swiftly realized that the list was longer than anticipated. It was no secret that he loved to talk about himself, and would do so to just about anyone – whether they liked it or not.

Clearly there needed to be an investigation. Straightening his scarf and gently placing the book under his arm, Dorian marched out the door. The game was afoot!

 

Opening the doors to the main hall, Dorian's ears were assaulted by resounding squeals coming from the direction of Josephine's office. It seemed a good place to start. Josephine certainly had the connections to pull off such an extravagant gift. The squealing was also a good sign.

As he entered, he saw Josephine and Leliana standing close together giggling and squealing as they fawned over the items in their hands.

“This is true Antivan craftsmanship! And the latest fashion! I have not had time to order myself any new clothing since we got here. Look at how it twirls!” Josephine held a stunning dress up to herself and spun a little circle.

“I have never owned shoes this lovely. I would be the envy of all Orlais! And they are surprisingly comfortable,” Leliana crooned, admiring the exquisite handiwork.

“Ah, ladies! Exchanging gifts I see?” Dorian took the moment to interrupt.

The two women looked at each other curiously, then down at their respective gifts.

“I had simply assumed, but- did you...?” Josephine paused.

“Not I. Then you didn't?”

“I'm afraid not.”

They looked back at him and he simply raised his own treasures and shrugged.

“It seems we have a conundrum. With you two out of the picture, I am officially stymied.”

“I am not sure whether to be happy or concerned that I did not know about this,” Leliana mused.

“Let's just stick with happy for now, shall we? Feel free to continue your duties, but I am going to seek out this mystery gift-giver,” Dorian struck a heroic pose before turning to leave the office.

“Oh, a mystery! How exciting. I shall come too!” Josephine replaced the dress in its protective covering and moved to join him.

“As the spymaster, I feel it is only right that I assist. Besides, I am curious now as well,” Leliana grinned.

 

Returning to the main hall, the three of them nearly stumbled into Varric. He was carrying an elegantly carved box and clearly on his way to Josephine's office. The dwarf had a pleased look on his face. Well, more pleased than usual. Dorian's suspicions were immediately raised.

“Aha! It's you isn't it?”

“Excuse me?”

“Confess now and I'll consider it,” Dorian's flair for the dramatic was clearly intensified by the investigation, and elicited giggling from his followers.

“What are you on about, Sparkler?”

“That box – who do you plan to sneak that to? Leaving them to wonder and agonize over the source...”

“This is _mine_ , Sparkler. I found it sitting on my writing table,” Varric opened the box to reveal a set of flawless quill pens, ink pots, and ink. There was also a tin of expensive-looking wood polish.

“By the looks on your faces, I'm going to assume this didn't come from my original suspect. Ruffles?”

Josephine shook her head quickly, a huge smile on her face.

“My, this is intriguing! Who shall we check next?” The ambassador was clearly having too much fun.

“Ah, so you're all on the hunt then, hm? Guess I'll tag along. Consider my curiosity piqued.”

“While some suspects are higher on my list than others, it may simply be easier to check with everyone. If they received a mystery gift, then they're momentarily off the hook,” Dorian stroked his mustache thoughtfully.

“Momentarily?” Leliana queried.

“My dear, we host some of the most cunning minds in Thedas. I wouldn't put it past someone to fake getting a gift in order to seem innocent.”

“Ah, I see. Clever. So who do we check next?”

“While he is not very high on the list, Solas' room is right here. Onward!”

The small procession marched into Solas' study room where they found the elf hard at work painting additions onto his mural. Not only was he making additions, he was actually repainting some of it. He turned to them with a broad smile.

“Oh, hello friends. Can I help you?”

“Unlikely,” Varric piped up, but Josephine nudged him.

“We-” Dorian paused for effect. “Are looking for a mystery gifter.”

“Ah, so then I am not the only one who woke to something unexpected,” he gestured to a group of containers. “This paint is excellent. Much more vibrant and lasting than what I had access to before. My previous work was already beginning to fade.”

Varric slipped the word 'Fade' in between coughs, forcing the girls to hide their laughter. Even Solas smiled at the dwarf's thinly veiled jest. Dorian's mouth twitched but he remained otherwise unfazed.

“It seems we must press on if this mystery is to be solved. To Cullen's office!”

“One moment. I will join you.”

Solas replaced the lids on his paint and joined the back of the group.

 

They marched out the door and through the snow to the Commander's quarters. Dorian was once again grateful for the added warmth of his scarf. They flung open the door without knocking, causing Cullen to jump slightly and knock a few papers onto the ground.

“Maker's breath! What on earth are you lot doing?” His expression was pure bewilderment as he watched the five of them squeeze through the door.

“Are you the culprit we seek?” Dorian pointed his finger directly at the Commander's face.

“I- What? Cuplrit?” The former Templar stammered in confusion.

“What he means, Curly, is what gift did you get?”

“Now Varric, you can't just _assume_ he's innocent. He has just as much access to our resources as Leliana and I. Oh-” Josephine's scolding was cut short as Cullen removed one of his gloves and held it out.

Dorian snatched it and examined it closely. The glove was indeed brand new. Its leather was tough and durable but unbelievably soft. Trying it on, he found it an amazingly good fit and the perfect balance of breathable yet warm. He removed the glove and handed it back reluctantly.

“There was this as well,” Cullen pointed out an impressive statue of a lion standing at Andraste's side. Dorian had never seen the depiction before and assumed it was commissioned with the Commander in mind. He sighed.

“Well it seems you are off the hook for now.”

“So all of you have gotten something, yet none claim to have given?” Cullen's brow furrowed.

“Indeed. Now we must continue our search. Feel free to come along!” Dorian exited onto the battlements, beelining for the tavern's top entrance.

“I really should continue working,” Cullen edged back toward his desk but was blocked off as Leliana and Josephine appeared on either side of him. Each grabbed an arm and headed for the door with their prey in tow.

 

The tavern was filled with laughter and merry-making as people celebrated. The six investigators approached Cole first. He was focused intently on an assortment of small animal figures, turning each one over and over in his hands before placing it gently back down.

“Hello, Cole,” Dorian chose to abandon his theatrics for the moment.

“Whispering, wondering – who could it be? Happy. Just happy,” Cole looked up at them with a rare tiny smile. “The gifts were a wonderful idea.”

Surprised glances were traded between the assembled group. Could he have obtained all these things? Dorian reserved judgment and simply asked.

“Was it you, then? Did you give us all gifts?”

Cole shook his head slowly before standing up to join the group, careful not to knock over his animals.

“No. But I would like to know as well. The gift made me happy too.”

“Come along then, we still have more options!”

 

Sera was in her room, giggle-snorting like mad. When she saw them, she laughed even harder.

“Look a' it! Isn't it amazing?”

What she held out got more than a few groans from the group and a couple chuckles. The item appeared to be a pillow that looked decidedly like... a butt. She squeezed it and it made the most disturbing sound. Dorian shook his head woefully.

“I don't suppose you know who gave you that?”

“Not a clue! But whoever it was is the best,” she squeezed it again and snorted at the resulting sound. “Oooo, are you trying to find out? I'll help you look! I'm great at that.”

“Alright, but please leave that thing behind...”

“Oh fine, ya boring old fop!” Sera tossed the pillow into her room.

 

Cassandra, Iron Bull, and Blackwall were all together on the bottom floor and they appeared to be deep in conversation. The eight new arrivals tramping down the stairs drew multiple looks from the tavern's current occupants. It was rare to see some of that group, and even more odd to see them together. The three warriors looked up in surprise as the motley crew approached. Dorian looked each one in the eye before speaking.

“We are trying to solve the mystery of the anonymous gifts. If you have any information, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“Scratch that second part, Sparkler. I'd rather not be in the dark forever.”

“Fine. Just speak now then.”

All he received for a moment was blank stares before they caught what he was asking. Cassandra spoke first.

“We were actually just discussing this and trying to decide which of you to ask. But you are all here, so I take that to mean it was none of you?”

“Hrm, but almost everyone is here,” Iron Bull grumbled.

“Perhaps they were from someone outside the Inquisition? It's not unheard of,” Blackwall chimed in.

“Oh for the moment I don't care! What did all of you get?” Josephine blurted out excitedly.

Iron Bull held up a large canister labeled 'Horn Balm' as well as his mug which was filled with a steaming nice-smelling brown liquid. He informed them that it was hot cocoa. Cassandra hesitated but uncovered a gorgeous bookmark and a large reproduction of the cover to Varric's first Swords and Shields novel. Blackwall unfurled an authentic Grey Warden battle standard.

The realization hit that they were nearly out of possible suspects and somehow it made them sad. During the hunt, they had been relaxing and chatting. It wasn't often that they got to simply enjoy each others company. Once they found the culprit, their silly adventure would be over and it would be back to work...

“Alright, we are in the tavern and we are not drinking. I see something wrong with this picture,” Varric pointed out.

“You are right, let's have some refreshment before we continue!” Leliana joined in.

Their group of eleven somehow all managed to fit around one table, drinking and laughing and wasting far more time than they were used to. Finally they all knew it was time to move on. There was one last stop to hit and there was equal measure of disbelief and reluctance.

 

A hush fell over the posse as they entered the balcony area within Skyhold. Vivienne sat reading with perfect posture. Dorian cleared his throat as they approached. Vivienne looked up and quirked an eyebrow at the assembled group.

“Did I miss some sort of meeting?”

“Not quite. We were actually wondering if you'd received any unusual packages this morning,” Dorian kept a straight face for this one. No need to give the harpy more ammo against him.

“Indeed I did. Aren't they lovely?” She pointed out some elegant new Orlesian decorations adorning her space. “Really it was too generous.”

“And you don't wish to find out who it's from?”

Vivienne's practiced laugh rang through the air, though not without mirth.

“Darling, you mean you don't know?” Her eyes scanned their faces and got her answer. She smiled and went back to reading her book.

 

Not wanting to stay near her smug satisfaction while they discussed, the best and brightest of Thedas regrouped in Solas' study. Each one of them stayed silent, deep in their own thoughts as they realized their mistake. It had been so obvious, but somehow all of them missed it completely. Sometimes it was just so easy to forget that leaders are more than just a symbol to stand by...

“How did she slip this past us? It must have taken her weeks to arrange for all these things.”

“And to deliver them without being seen? I never would have guessed.”

“All of the gifts were so perfect. Does she really know us so well?”

The musings went on for a short while before Cullen raised a hand for silence.

“Does anyone know where she is?” His face was serious.

“I haven't seen her all day. That should have been my first clue,” Dorian shook his head.

“Well I doubt she's in her room. She avoids it like the plague unless she's sleeping,” Varric added.

“Well it would be silly and time-consuming to search all of Skyhold ourselves. Leliana?”

“I'll have my scouts search for her and ask around. Someone likely saw where she went.”

“Let us know when there is word.”

 

It took a surprisingly short amount of time for Leliana to hear back, and the procession made its way to the discovered location. There was some climbing involved, but eventually they reached the very top of the gatehouse tower. Dorian made it up first and quickly spotted the culprit.

Faydren was leaning against the stone and gazing out over the valley, her grey eyes distant and sad. The wind ruffled her white hair softly. Something about her right then just seemed so alone. Dorian walked over quietly and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her head turned toward him and she gave a small smile.

“Oh. Hello, Dorian.”

Her eyes moved past him and widened in surprise as she saw the growing group of people. She moved her back against the wall and slid as far away from them as she could. Faydren's alarm only further confirmed what they already knew - she was the mystery gift giver. Dorian moved to stand in front of her, closer than the rest of them.

“We all received wonderful gifts earlier today, but nobody seems to know who they're from. I don't suppose you have any input on the matter, Inquisitor?” It was phrased as a question, but the implication was obvious.

“Fine.” Faydren's shoulders sagged in defeat. “Yes, I got you all presents. I know it's silly, but we used to do it every year at the Circle and I just... missed that. And you've all done so much for me I just thought-”

Josephine didn't wait for her to finish, dashing forward and throwing her arms around the mage. Faydren stiffened for a moment before slowly returning the embrace.

“It was wonderful! Today has been magnificent all around. Thanks to you,” Josephine let go and cleared her throat. “Now, I shall go back and admire my dress some more.”

Leliana went next. Then Cassandra. One by one each of them thanked Faydren and climbed back down until only Dorian, Iron Bull, Cole, Varric, and Cullen remained. Cullen was the only one who had yet to approach Faydren, though the other four were sticking around anyway for some unknown reason. The Commander stepped forward and cleared his throat.

“I regret that I have nothing to give you in return. My family used to give gifts too, and it was always a joy to both give and receive...”

Faydren smiled warmly at him. The others would swear that he was the only one who could get those.

“I already have everything I want. All of you are here with me. Safe. The best gift you all can give me is to stay that way...” Her eyes locked with his and both of them merely stood there for a moment.

“Oh my, what is this!” Dorian pointed above their heads where there hung – an elfroot. It wasn't so much hanging as it was being held by Cole, who was clutching tightly to Bull's outstretched arm.

“I believe there's a tradition to uphold, Curly,” Varric was leaning against the stone with a smug grin.

“Tradition?” Faydren was confused.

“Oh yes, any two people standing under the hanging elfroot must kiss or have bad luck for the rest of the year,” Dorian informed her happily.

Faydren went completely still as a blush slowly began creeping up her neck. Her eyes darted around like an animal looking for escape. All routes were conveniently blocked by the trap's creators.

“I- You- Come now, I hardly think this qualifies,” Cullen stammered nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Man up, Cullen,” Iron Bull egged him on.

“Oh, Maker's breath... fine!”

Cullen turned back to face Faydren slowly. Both tried to ignore the fact that the other was beet red by this point. Her eyes were glued to his chest, leaving him to stare at her freely. His heart beat faster as he looked at her. Maker, she was lovely... Steeling himself to the task, Cullen gently put a finger under her chin and raised it so that their noses nearly touched. It forced her eyes to lock with his once more before she closed them tightly. It was nearly done - just a couple more inches.

His stubble brushed her face as Cullen softly placed his lips against her cheek. Releasing her chin, Cullen stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. Faydren opened her eyes and gave him a relieved smile. He gave her a lopsided grin back. It seemed he'd made the right choice after all, though his lips still tingled and he felt his eyes drawn to hers. He bowed slightly and made a break for it.

“Oh now that's not fair! That can't count. Can that count?” Dorian protested loudly while Varric pushed him towards the way down.

“I think that's about as good as you'll get right now, Sparkler,” Varric chuckled.

“I agree. That was like cheating...” Iron Bull grumbled but headed out as well.

“I thought it was nice,” Cole commented from atop Bull's shoulders.

Faydren was soon alone once more, though she no longer felt alone. A smile lingered on her lips as she touched her cheek where Cullen had kissed it. She agreed with Cole – it was nice.


End file.
